When you have kids, everything changes. Most of the days I feel happy and excited about it. But there are some days that I feel frustrated, slow, and it's like I'm not doing enough. Today I planned to do couple things outside the house. In my head it would take me 30min, to shower, get ready and leave. But it took me 1.5 hour to do it because of Tino. All of that extra time that took me made me feel very slow, even though I was o my speed pace. Then my head is spinning out, with a MASSIVE checklist of things that are not getting done, but I have to do, so I have to choose what I am doing and prioritize what really matters. Should I eat or feed him? Should we go or change his diaper? Should I get ready or get him ready? What about my plans? Do I cancel them or go anyway? What is the best order to fit all of the options without having to choose just a few? Then I look at him. I STOP and he smiles. I'm all melted and he wants to play! What do I do? Do I play or do we go? We leave, it's raining, we forgot the stoller cover, do we go back? No, hurry up you are already 1 hour late. We arrive at the station, it's fine, everything is going to be ok. The elevator doesn't work 😑 So you have to take the train on a opposite direction, go to the next station so you can go to the right direction. it's fine, everything is going to be ok. I'm about to loose it, just go back home and never leave the house again, but then I look at him, that innocent face who think everything is magic, then I'm back on track! Life is so amazing through their eyes. I should make an effort to see it that way too. We finally hop out the train, I've made some calls to rearrange the day, we made it to our final destination, everything worked out. He is having the best time of his life, and I am tired, my brain is about to melt, what was supposed to take 3 hours of my day took me 7 hours. But when I look at him, everything fades away. And I'm whole again. It's bath and bed time, I already miss him. I will now have 2 hours of my day for me before bed. I look around, the house is caos, I'm hungry and I'm by myself. Suck it up! Lets eat and clean the house. I'm exhausted, my brain is spinning out. What a day! But now it will all be a memory, tomorrow will be a better day. - The next day starts the night before. And this is why I cleaned and organized the home. So tomorrow can be a better day. -
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